WHAT ARE YOU REALLY FEELING?

 

 

 

One of the 1^st things I tell every client I sit down with is that I’m not interested in talking about their anger.  Anger is the easiest emotion to feel because it does not require vulnerability or emotional nakedness.  It is a modern day fig leaf of sorts.  Just as Adam and Eve hid their nakedness from God behind fig leaves that they had sewn together, people often hide their pain, disappointment, rejection, fear, etc… behind a wall of anger.  When I’m angry I feel charged.  I feel like I could just run through who ever made me upset.  I don’t feel vulnerable at all.  I don’t feel scared. In fact, the person that I’m angry at should be the one that’s afraid.  Anger is the shield that helps protect our feelings….or is it?

I think anger is an excuse to remain a coward… YES, I said it!  When you constantly chose to become angry and lash out rather than deal with what is really bothering you, what you are really saying is, “I’m scared to let this person know I cared enough to be hurt.”, “I’m embarrassed to let you know how I really feel because I’m afraid you’ll view me differently.”, or “I’m afraid to let you see the real me.”

It takes a tremendous amount of courage to stand emotionally naked and let people see the truth behind your anger.  Are you really angry at the checkout girl that yelled at you, or are you expressing anger as a way to hide the hurt you felt from the verbal abuse of someone else?  As someone that formerly had an extremely bad temper, I have to constantly check the roots behind my emotions.  It’s not an easy process, but its one I am committed to.  I want to remain emotionally honest, not just with others, but with myself as well.  If there are triggers that cause me to become angry, I need to investigate those and seek God for healing in that area.  It’s okay to get angry, but it’s not okay to stay that way.  It’s also not okay to live as someone who angers easily.  Show me someone that can go from zero to one hundred over the least little thing and I’ll show you someone that has some deep pain that needs to be dealt with.

Stop taking the easy way out! Be courageous enough to deal with the real emotions!